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Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / The Boss at Home

Women In Islam — Maulana Wahiduddin Khan

Badges mark quoted or attributed material (Qur'an, hadith, another author, an opposing view). Unbadged passages are Maulana Wahiduddin Khan's own words.

Contents (85 chapters)
  1. Foreword
  2. Ch 1 — Women and Islam / The Wisdom of Creation
  3. Ch 1 — Women and Islam / Some Sayings of the Prophet
  4. Ch 1 — Women and Islam / Equal in Respect, Different in Role
  5. Ch 1 — Women and Islam / The Position of Women in Islam
  6. Ch 1 — Women and Islam / Islam Gives More Respect to Women than Men
  7. Ch 1 — Women and Islam / The Succour of God
  8. Ch 1 — Women and Islam / Islam Holds Women in High Esteem
  9. Ch 1 — Women and Islam / Women in Every Field
  10. Ch 1 — Women and Islam / Women and Education
  11. Ch 1 — Women and Islam / Islam and Modesty
  12. Ch 1 — Women and Islam / The Obligations and Rights of Women
  13. Ch 1 — Women and Islam / Attributes of Men and Women
  14. Ch 2 — Rights and Progress of Women / The Rights of Women in Islam
  15. Ch 2 — Rights and Progress of Women / Progress of Women in Islamic Society
  16. Ch 2 — Rights and Progress of Women / Women in Religious Life
  17. Ch 2 — Rights and Progress of Women / Islam and Women
  18. Ch 2 — Rights and Progress of Women / Islam Gives Women Complete Freedom
  19. Ch 2 — Rights and Progress of Women / An Old Woman's Courage
  20. Ch 2 — Rights and Progress of Women / Women and Inheritance of Property
  21. Ch 2 — Rights and Progress of Women / The Testimony of Women
  22. Ch 2 — Rights and Progress of Women / Working Outdoors
  23. Ch 2 — Rights and Progress of Women / Women in the Field of Education
  24. Ch 3 — Women in History and Today / Status of Women in Society
  25. Ch 3 — Women in History and Today / Unnatural Equality
  26. Ch 3 — Women in History and Today / Status of Women in Religions
  27. Ch 3 — Women in History and Today / Gender Equality
  28. Ch 3 — Women in History and Today / Equal in Respect, Different in Role
  29. Ch 3 — Women in History and Today / Role of Women in History
  30. Ch 3 — Women in History and Today / A Clarification of a Misunderstanding
  31. Ch 3 — Women in History and Today / Empowerment of Women
  32. Ch 3 — Women in History and Today / Progress of Women: An Islamic Perspective
  33. Ch 4 — Women from Muslim History / Ideal Women
  34. Ch 4 — Women from Muslim History / The Story of Hazrat Khadijah
  35. Ch 4 — Women from Muslim History / Glad Tidings
  36. Ch 4 — Women from Muslim History / Mothers of the Believers
  37. Ch 4 — Women from Muslim History / The Example Set by Hazrat Fatimah
  38. Ch 4 — Women from Muslim History / Exemplary Muslim Women
  39. Ch 4 — Women from Muslim History / Fortitude of Muslim Women
  40. Ch 5 — Hijab in Islam / Here's the Truth Behind the Veil
  41. Ch 5 — Hijab in Islam / Hijab in the Light of the Quran and Hadith
  42. Ch 5 — Hijab in Islam / Hijab: A Comprehensive Term
  43. Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / Sanctity of Marriage in Islam
  44. Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / Successful Marriage
  45. Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / Dower (Mahr)
  46. Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / Hazrat Fatimah's Dower
  47. Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / The Companions and Their Marriages
  48. Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / Stability in Marriage
  49. Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / Breaking the Conditioning Mould
  50. Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / Position of Woman in Islamic Shariah
  51. Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / Adjustment in Marital Life
  52. Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / Principle of Adjustment
  53. Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / Marriage: Intellectual Partnership
  54. Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / Emotionalism vs Egoism
  55. Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / Companionship of Husband and Wife
  56. Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / Mutual Trust
  57. Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / Qawwamiat or 'Bossism'
  58. Ch 6 — Marriage in Islam / The Boss at Home
  59. Ch 7 — Polygamy and Islam / The Issue of Polygamy in Islam
  60. Ch 7 — Polygamy and Islam / The Inequality in Numbers
  61. Ch 7 — Polygamy and Islam / The Willingness of Women
  62. Ch 7 — Polygamy and Islam / Solution to a Problem Rather than a General Commandment
  63. Ch 7 — Polygamy and Islam / The Islamic Way
  64. Ch 8 — Divorce in Islam / The Issue of Divorce
  65. Ch 8 — Divorce in Islam / Satan's Greatest Weapon
  66. Ch 8 — Divorce in Islam / Divorce in Islam
  67. Ch 8 — Divorce in Islam / Two Ways of Divorcing
  68. Ch 8 — Divorce in Islam / The Case of Women
  69. Ch 8 — Divorce in Islam / The Meaning of Provision
  70. Ch 8 — Divorce in Islam / After Divorce
  71. Ch 9 — Shaping the Family and Society / Women's Spiritual Role in Early Muslim Society
  72. Ch 9 — Shaping the Family and Society / Women's Spiritual Role in Later Muslim History
  73. Ch 9 — Shaping the Family and Society / Paradise Lies at the Feet of the Mother
  74. Ch 9 — Shaping the Family and Society / Shaping Family and Society on Spiritual Lines
  75. Ch 9 — Shaping the Family and Society / Family: Microcosm of Society
  76. Ch 9 — Shaping the Family and Society / Better Home, Better Society
  77. Ch 9 — Shaping the Family and Society / A Mother's Responsibility
  78. Ch 9 — Shaping the Family and Society / Family Culture: A Narrow Outlook
  79. Ch 9 — Shaping the Family and Society / The Faulty Role of Parents
  80. Ch 9 — Shaping the Family and Society / The Harm of Pampering
  81. Ch 9 — Shaping the Family and Society / The Upbringing of Children
  82. Ch 9 — Shaping the Family and Society / Cultivating a Religious Environment at Home
  83. Ch 9 — Shaping the Family and Society / Home-Schooling: A Hub of Intellectual Activities
  84. Ch 9 — Shaping the Family and Society / Mother as a Role Model
  85. Ch 9 — Shaping the Family and Society / Woman at the Beginning of All Great Things

THE BOSS AT HOME p. 183

On a journey to the USA, I learned of an American lady who married a Pakistani Muslim, Naseer Ahmad Mirza, living in Utah. In the course of an interview she gave to an American journal, she made the following observation: p. 183

“While most Americans are under the impression that Muslim wives are oppressed, I did not find that to be true. ‘It’s just a different division. Outside the home, my husband’s the boss. But in my house, I’m the boss.’” p. 184other source

Several such incidents have come to my knowledge. Certain American women are wary of marrying for fear of divorce taking place at any time. This is why some women prefer marrying Muslims, preferably those who come to America for education. In this way, such marriages have become a means of conveying the message of Islam. When the newspapers ask them about Islam, they defend their newly acquired faith excellently, as quoted above. p. 184

Islam does not degrade the status of women as compared to that of men. Instead, the system of separate workplaces has been established on the principle of equality. Islam has divided the affairs of life into two fields, one outdoor and the other indoor. According to Islam, a man is in charge of the outdoor departments of life while a woman attends to indoor matters. She very aptly represented this principle of Islam in the light of her own experience. p. 184

This division is very appropriate for both genders. In this way, the man can devote his maximum energy to one department while the woman can give her full attention to indoor affairs. This makes for greater efficiency in both spheres. p. 184

This division, while giving independent status respectively to the husband and the wife, makes them both cogs in the great wheel of the family machine. And unless the wheels all smoothly interlock, the machine will come to a standstill. For the family to function as an efficient unit, there must be full cooperation between husband and wife. Otherwise, it would mean the end of family life and, ultimately, of all social relations. Humanity as a whole would suffer. p. 185

The division of labour relates not only to men and women but is also a general principle upon which the whole system of nature is based. p. 185

When you establish a business house where many people work, you have to assign some people to look after the office work, while some people have to be sent out to look after the fieldwork. This division of labour is necessary to run any business efficiently and successfully. If the workers of any factory or organisation are unwilling to accept this arrangement, that enterprise will undoubtedly fail. p. 185

The same is true of everyday life. God has planned things so that men and women together will make them work. Then, He has created men and women with the unique abilities necessary to perform the jobs assigned to their sphere. p. 185

Now, both reason and Islam demand that each gender should be willing to remain in their sphere and perform the assigned tasks. Men should not try to imitate women, and vice versa. p. 185

Those men and women who show their willingness to make this arrangement a success will, with the help of God, be rewarded in this life as well as in the next. p. 185

POLYGAMY AND ISLAM p. 187

Chapter 4 of the Quran allows a man to have four wives (4:3). This does not mean that every man should have four wives. This rule is an exception and is not to be taken in a general sense. The general rule is to have only one wife, but in a case of absolute necessity, a man can have more than one wife. p. 187original + quote

This need refers to a situation where, by some unfortunate incident, there is a disparity between the number of men and women in society. When there are more women than men, there is sexual anarchy. To overcome this evil, in exceptional cases, men are allowed to have more than one wife. p. 187

The truth is that a natural way of marriage is between one man and one woman. A man is naturally biased against the second wife in most cases. This suffices to prove that monogamy is the natural way, while polygamy is permitted in exceptional circumstances by the law of necessity. There are exceptional laws of this kind that cover other cases as well. However, exceptional laws are exceptional laws, and they cannot be applied in general. p. 187